I think there might be something wrong with me. I don't think this is normal but these are feelings that are real and a little crazy or strange and lucky for me I can write about them here.
I have 3 boys. That is not my problem. The oldest two are about 17 months apart and the difference between #2 and #3 is 19 months. This is the first time I have made it to a first birthday (of one of my sons) without being pregnant.
Today I had some time to organize their clothes as they are growing and some of the clothes are now too little. I was putting away 12 month clothes and filling the drawers with 18 month clothes. I took 18 month and 2T clothes out of #2's drawer and put those in #3's drawer. This made me sad. It makes me want another baby and this is why I think I have a problem.
Is this normal? Well, I know I want more kids but is it normal to have these feelings. Are other moms happy to be done with a stage? It was so sad to me to see clothes that #2 was JUST wearing ready for #3 to fit into very soon. And what about all those baby clothes that #3 can't even squeeze into. I'm so glad I know I want more because I just don't know what I'm going to do when I have to put all these clothes in the donation pile.
Maybe I need some counseling but really I just need prayer if and when I am blessed with another baby.
Showing posts with label mom career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom career. Show all posts
Friday, May 6, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Where would I be?
I worked at a Christian Summer Camp shortly after college. This was also before I met my husband. It was a time in my life where I didn't have too much responsibility so I could make little money and be a counselor at a summer camp. The circumstances leading to my hire and actually working there happened very quickly but I am so thankful I had the chance to be part of this summer camp. It was another life experience that helped me grow in my faith as a follower of Jesus.
One of the great things about that camp was the opportunity I had to spend some time with the camp director. I approached her and asked if she would do a bible study (or a book study) with me. She was a very busy lady but still took the time to mentor me, pray with me and encourage me in my life. We did an exercise together that challenged me to be confident in God's plan for my life and to also embrace the place I am in at the moment. Oh, that's so hard to do.
She asked me to pick an occupation and a place where I would want to be working. It could be anywhere in the world.
My initial answer contained excuses. I don't want to move far from my family. I want to be married and have kids. I can't do that because I don't have any experience.
Her response. Don't think about those extra things. What would you do if you didn't have to worry about family? If you knew you would be married (eventually) with kids? If you had the instruction and experience to pursue it.
So, what did I want to do?
I wanted to be a dancer in Australia (I may have changed the country...but it was definitely not an American location)
The 2nd part of this exercise was to come up with two other "careers" and locations that would eventually take me to be a dancer in Australia.
I don't remember exactly what my other two were but I think it was a teacher and a dolphin trainer. A teacher in England and a dolphin trainer in Hawaii.
I think about this exercise often, especially as I am in the middle of wiping bottoms, building train tracks and employing my mommy voice. I love where I am in my life. I love what I do. But I know I don't have to lose sight of things that make me happy for whatever strange reason that may be....even if it is as a dolphin trainer just so I can swim with dolphins.
One of the great things about that camp was the opportunity I had to spend some time with the camp director. I approached her and asked if she would do a bible study (or a book study) with me. She was a very busy lady but still took the time to mentor me, pray with me and encourage me in my life. We did an exercise together that challenged me to be confident in God's plan for my life and to also embrace the place I am in at the moment. Oh, that's so hard to do.
She asked me to pick an occupation and a place where I would want to be working. It could be anywhere in the world.
My initial answer contained excuses. I don't want to move far from my family. I want to be married and have kids. I can't do that because I don't have any experience.
Her response. Don't think about those extra things. What would you do if you didn't have to worry about family? If you knew you would be married (eventually) with kids? If you had the instruction and experience to pursue it.
So, what did I want to do?
I wanted to be a dancer in Australia (I may have changed the country...but it was definitely not an American location)
The 2nd part of this exercise was to come up with two other "careers" and locations that would eventually take me to be a dancer in Australia.
I don't remember exactly what my other two were but I think it was a teacher and a dolphin trainer. A teacher in England and a dolphin trainer in Hawaii.
I think about this exercise often, especially as I am in the middle of wiping bottoms, building train tracks and employing my mommy voice. I love where I am in my life. I love what I do. But I know I don't have to lose sight of things that make me happy for whatever strange reason that may be....even if it is as a dolphin trainer just so I can swim with dolphins.
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